My name is Jonathan and I was almost a 38-year old virgin.

I came so close, but an event took place to change my status. No, no no. It's not what you're thinking. You see, the organisers of the Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour were planning to call its programme for newbie cyclists "The Virgins", but at the last minute decided to call it "Training Wheels". Does that make me a 38-year old wheelie? I think I'd rather be a virgin.

Perhaps it's just as well. After all, the decision to enter Cycle Tour was made during an ante-natal class. When my wife discovered she was pregnant, I told her that I was going to be there for her.

"Sure," she said, "we'll share the joy of the baby when she's born, but I will have to endure the discomforts of pregnancy alone."

"No," I assured her. "I'll help you bear the pain." At the time I really meant it. She just raised an eyebrow.

So, in solidarity, I gave up all the things she had to give up. It was the least I could do.

Goodbye caffeine, soft cheeses and alcohol. Hello pickled onion and tootchpaste sandwiches and anything else her hormone-bubbling body craved. I knew, though, that however much I tried I would never be able to, er, reproduce the pain of childbirth.

The midwife who took the ante-natal class agreed. "Appreciate your partners," she told the fidgeting expectant fathers, "because you'll never understand what moms go through." And then the the midwife dropped the bombshell: "If you want just a little taste of what they'll be going through, then sign up to ride the Cycle Tour."

My wife gave a small but noticeable nod of her head - and with that nod my fate was sealed. On March 8, I will be cycling 109 kilometres. Or, to put it another way, I will be cycling 109 KILLERmetres.

I registered for Cycle Tour and was invited to join the Training Wheels programme - a pilot project launched by the Cycle Tour, Virgin Active and Cycle Lab for first time Cycle Tour cyclists. The programme teachies new cyclists to repair punctures, climb hills, select gears and ride in a group. There are also spinning classes and supervised rides.

Which is why on Sunday, November 15, I woke up at the crack of dawn to make my way to Westlake for the programme's first clinic. "The last time I was awake this early on a Sunday morning was 15 years ago and I was only awake because I hadn't gone to bed yet," I grumbled to my sleeping wife.

"It's so early I feel nauseous and I can't even have a cup of coffee," I moaned.

If I had been expecting sympathy I would have been sorely disappointed.

"My wife opened an eye and said: "At least now you have an idea of what morning sickness feels like."

* Jonathan Ancer is the Group Training Editor for Independent Newspapers. Follow the run-up to Jonathan's very first Cycle Tour every Wednesday.